It’s been an incredible year so far! I’m doing amazing mindset work on a personal level, but I really need to work on it in some other areas.
My personal goals of “Try Everything” have definitely been the focus for the first quarter. I’ve lost around 15kg, and more than 15cm around my waist. When I look at the before and after photos I can see the difference. I’ve also lost most of my wardrobe as well, due to fading away. I even wrote a song to the tune of London Bridge – ” My underwear is falling off, falling off, falling off. My underwear is falling off. I’m so skinny!”
But here’s the catch! It’s incredibly difficult to change the mindset from being an overweight woman, to being a normal sized woman. I’ve found it really difficult to identify with women who are the same size as me. I still find myself looking at the sizes of clothes and expecting to fit into the larger sizes. My darling domestic worker has taken in a bunch of my underwear and every time I take them out of the cupboard, I look at the size and expect them to be far too small, yet they fit perfectly.
Everyone around me is commenting on my weight-loss, so it’s clearly visible, and yet in my mind I’m still down playing all the comments. It’s amazing how much your mindset affects how you perceive things!
Mindset in my business!
As I’ve mentioned in other blog posts, I’ve been working with a Money Coach. Marnita Oppermann is a Mindful Money Coach, who specialises in helping clients find their money blocks and working through releasing them. My husband and I started off working with her as a couple and working on our personal financial situation, but as the weeks have gone, we’ve moved more towards working on a one on one basis. My sessions are very much focused on my business and money. Ways of increasing it, finding passive income streams, releasing the blocks that I have.
I’ve done a lot of mental work about what I actually want my role to be in the business. What are the aspects of the business that I want to focus on? What are the parts of the business that make me happy? That excite me? What do I really see my role as?
Part of this mental work has been evolving my business tag line. I’ve realised that what I really want to do in my business is empower women to work better. Whether that is empowering other mothers in roles as Virtual Assistants (you can book one on that link!), empowering women to work better through our networking events– both the speakers and the attendees, empowering women through workshops I’m involved in (watch this space!) and ultimately through the coworking spaces that I plan to build and communities I plan to nurture.
Who am I and what is my role?
I am a connector. It’s what I love most about the jobs I do and have done. Connecting people who I know will work well together, brings me immense joy.
I am a social being. Talking to people and getting to know their stories fills my soul. I love finding the places where these stories connect. Networking is by far one of my favourite pastimes! I feel comfortable with people in person, when I can see their reactions and read them.
So why then is it so difficult to feel that I am doing something worthwhile? That I feel that I can take money for doing the things I love doing? That I am an average sized woman? Our mindsets are really something when we think about it.
All those years of external and internal feedback. How much of it we have taken to heart and continue telling ourselves. Things like “Most businesses fail in the first year!“, “Entrepreneurship is never going to work for you“, “You’ve tried and failed at creating businesses, just go back to working for someone“, “Why would someone give you their money for THAT?“, “People pay for THAT?“, somehow get really ingrained into our psyche!
It takes a lot of work for me to not listen to the quiet voice in my head. However insistent it is.
I recently asked some friends to point out my best characteristics. The one thing that came up repeatedly was how confident I am. Clearly I’ve been doing very well on “Fake it til you make it”! I so often feel incredibly insecure and unsure of something I’m doing, but I keep it to myself. Showing my confident self is probably a way for me to try and feel I’m controlling the situation. I often find myself thinking that I’m not the right person for doing this job. Then something happens and I’m reminded that I chose this. The universe chose this for me, and keeps putting people in my path and sphere of influence, to guide me and point me in the right direction. I’m confident that I can make this succeed, it’s going to take a bit more mindset work, and a whole lot of confidence (fake or not!).